Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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