You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
