if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My liver just broke up with me...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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