All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
