Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
