I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
