k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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