Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
