omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
