I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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