I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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