and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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