Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
