i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it glows. i had to have it.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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