recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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