Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
