they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
