I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
