Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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