I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have fence marks all over my body
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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