She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
