I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So vagazzling was a success
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
