is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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