Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
