He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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