I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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