College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My pussy is not your playground.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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