whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
