Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize