He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
