I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
