Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
