quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
