these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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