Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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