she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Little spoons don't ask big questions
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
