Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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