bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I forget how to act sober
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize