Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
