Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
