how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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