I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
