Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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