k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
