we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
