at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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