Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
