why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
