My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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