I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize