Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
