Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
