We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
