using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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