White coat. Heels.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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