He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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