do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
