She's JV to your varsity
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
