my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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