Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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