she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
