is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
