check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
