ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
