Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
