did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize