Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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